Is there any genre of humor more satisfying than a joke? We don’t think so. Because women’s jokes aren’t like regular jokes.
They’re multi-faceted and complex. They’re funny because they’re so desperately uncool that you’re not even sure whether to laugh or not. So read on, and enjoy!
Why do women always have to put their purses on the floor?
So men can’t see what they’re buying.
Why don’t women wear watches?
Because there’s a clock on the stove.
What’s a woman’s ideal dream vacation?
To go anywhere her husband is not invited.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something important?
She starts with, “In my opinion…”
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can get closer to the sink.
What’s the best way to get a woman excited?
Tell her a man is dead.
Why do women have two breasts?
So they can have one for the morning and one for the evening.
Why do women always have to have the last word?
Because men never listen.
What’s the difference between a woman and a computer?
You can plug a computer into a wall.
Why don’t women trust men?
Because men lie all the time.
What’s the best way to get a woman to do something?
Tell her she can’t do it.
Why do women have such small brains?
So they don’t think too much.
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they’re ugly and smelly.
What’s the difference between men and women?
Women are smarter, but men have bigger brains.
Why do women hate shopping?
Because they have to go around looking for the best deal.
How can you tell if a woman is lying?
Her lips are moving.
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
A widow.
Why do women hate getting old?
Because they can no longer attract younger men.
What’s the best way to keep a woman happy?
Give her a man to boss around.
Why do women have such strong legs?
So they can stand up to men.
What’s the difference between a woman and a dog?
Dogs have masters, women have husbands.
How can you tell when a woman is having a bad day?
Her husband is home.
Why are women like computers?
You have to punch information into them before they’ll do anything useful.
What’s the best way to get revenge on a woman?
Sleep with her husband.
What’s the difference between a woman and a cat?
Cats clean themselves, women think they do.
What’s the best way to get a woman to say yes?
Ask her if she’s sure.
How can you tell if a woman is happy?
She has a man in bed with her.
How can you tell when a woman is lying?
Her lips are moving.
What’s the difference between men and government bonds?
Government bonds mature.
What’s the difference between men and parking spots?
The good ones are always taken, and the ones that are available are handicapped.
What’s the difference between men and concrete?
Concrete hardens, men just get harder.
What’s the difference between men and coffee?
Coffee keeps men awake, women want men to keep them awake.
What’s the difference between men and milk?
Milk expires, men just go bad.
How can you tell if a man is happy?
He’s breathing.
How can you tell if a man is lying?
His lips are moving.